Postpartum Depression: What It Really Looks Like (And How to Get Support)

Written By Danielle Callaghan

Hey mama, let’s be honest — being a new mom is overwhelming. Everyone talks about the “baby blues,” but what you’re feeling might be more than a few tears here and there. You might feel… exhausted, disconnected, anxious, or even irritated in ways that surprise you. That’s where postpartum depression (PPD) comes in. It’s common, real, and treatable — and it doesn’t mean you’re failing.

In fact, about 1 in 7 mothers experience PPD in the first year after giving birth (CDC, 2022). Understanding what it looks like — both the obvious and the hidden signs — can make a huge difference in how you feel and how quickly you get support.

Classic Signs You Might Have Heard Of

Maybe your doctor mentioned some of these at your checkup:

  • Feeling persistently sad, hopeless, or tearful

  • Trouble bonding with your baby

  • Loss of interest or joy in things you used to enjoy

  • Fatigue or low energy

  • Guilt or feeling like you’re “not enough”

If any of these sound familiar, that’s valid. But PPD doesn’t always show up this way.

Signs You Might Not Know About

Many moms experience PPD in ways that aren’t talked about as much. You might notice:

  • Feeling numb or disconnected, like you’re watching life happen around you instead of living it

  • Irritability or anger — snapping at small things or feeling frustrated more than usual

  • Racing thoughts or constant worry, especially about your baby

  • Being overstimulated, “touched out,” or exhausted by simple daily tasks

  • Trouble focusing, remembering, or making decisions

Some moms think, “I’m not depressed — I’m just not me.” That feeling itself can be a sign of PPD (O’Hara & McCabe, 2013).

Why This Happens

PPD isn’t a reflection of your love for your baby or your parenting skills. It happens because your body and mind are going through enormous changes, many of which are outside your control:

  • Hormones: After birth, estrogen and progesterone drop quickly, which can affect mood. These shifts are natural and unavoidable.

  • Sleep deprivation: Caring for a newborn often means very little restorative rest, and almost no amount of “planning” can fully prevent it.

  • Life changes: Relationships, work, finances, and daily responsibilities all shift rapidly after birth — factors you can’t always control.

  • Mental health history: A past history of depression or anxiety increases risk, even if you’ve never experienced PPD before.

It’s usually a combination of these biological, psychological, and social factors (Stewart & Vigod, 2016). None of them mean you did anything wrong — PPD is not your fault.

What Recovery Looks Like

Here’s a truth every mom needs to hear: healing doesn’t mean going back to exactly who you were before having your baby. Motherhood changes you — emotionally, mentally, and physically. Healing means learning to breathe again in the life you have now. You can feel steadier, more compassionate toward yourself, and less weighed down by the constant pressure to “do it all” (O’Hara & McCabe, 2013).

Evidence-Based Ways to Get Support

You don’t have to figure this out alone. Here’s what research-backed support looks like in real life:

  1. Therapy – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) help many moms process thoughts and feelings, manage anxiety, and improve mood (Sockol, 2015).

  2. Medication – Antidepressants can be safe for postpartum moms, including those breastfeeding, when prescribed by a doctor (ACOG, 2023).

  3. Social support – Talking to a partner, friend, or support group can relieve pressure and isolation. Even sharing your story with one trusted person helps.

  4. Small self-care steps – A shower, a 10-minute walk, or a nap while your baby sleeps may seem tiny, but these moments can make a real difference.

When to Reach Out

You don’t have to wait until things feel unbearable to get help. Early support can make recovery smoother and prevent symptoms from worsening. Consider reaching out if you notice:

  • Persistent sadness, irritability, or anxiety lasting more than two weeks

  • Difficulty caring for yourself or your baby

  • Feeling emotionally disconnected or numb

  • Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby

Even if you’re managing day-to-day but something feels “off” inside — like constant worry, guilt, or frustration — reaching out early is a sign of strength, not failure.

If you ever feel unsafe with your thoughts, call or text 988 immediately.

Support from Braving Motherhood Counseling & Wellness

At Braving Motherhood, we provide therapy that’s evidence-based and delivered with compassion. We help moms navigate the emotional ups and downs, identity shifts, and everyday challenges of early motherhood. You don’t have to carry it alone — seeking support is brave and important.

Helpful Resources

References

  • American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (2023). Screening for Perinatal Depression.

  • Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2022). Postpartum Depression.

  • O’Hara, M. W., & McCabe, J. E. (2013). Postpartum depression: Current status and future directions. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 9, 379–407. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-050212-185612

  • Sockol, L. E. (2015). A systematic review of the efficacy of cognitive behavioral therapy for treating and preventing perinatal depression. Journal of Affective Disorders, 177, 7–21. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2015.01.052

  • Stewart, D. E., & Vigod, S. N. (2016). Postpartum depression: Pathophysiology, treatment, and emerging therapeutics. Annual Review of Medicine, 67, 231–245. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-med-050214-013539

Danielle Callaghan
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